"Be yourself.... everyone else is already taken."

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

I Remember Mama ...

I don't remember my Mom when she was this young ... but you can see her lovely spirit! She still has it even though she can't remember!
Mama then...

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date:
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimm'd;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance or nature's changing course untrimm'd;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade
Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest;
Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou growest:
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this and this gives life to thee

Mama now.... Let's talk about youth to old age now ....

I sat down next to my Mom at the nursing home and she so cheerfully said, "Hi, It's so nice to see you!" I was so happy because I thought she knew who I was..... but she didn't. She was so delighted that I was going to take this picture and she smiled her now toothless smile and said "cheese"! Then she wanted to know what a camera was? "I'm Janie Mom! Remember there was Ann, Jill, Marty and then me ... Janie?" ...but sadly she didn't remember having children? I can't imagine not remembering Megan & Beau, seriously! She said I was making up silly stories because if she'd had children she would remember! She was so pleasant and loving like she has always been ... but she just does not remember me or her own life :( and it just about breaks my heart every time. But I remember her.....
When I left I hugged and kissed her and for just a split moment her eyes seemed a little more focused and she said, "Goodbye Janie" .... I had said, "It's me Janie!" so many times.... still, I would love to think she really knew me for just that moment :)
I'm so hoping that when she gets to Heaven, she'll remember everything!
Especially the part where I have always loved her back!


DAnna said...

Dear Jane,

My heart goes out to you - this has to be so difficult for you! Your description of your mom now made me cry! I, too, remember her has a vibrant, funny, caring woman. Thankfully you have a loving, supportive family.

Thinking of you and Doris tonight!


Janie Taylor said...

Thank you DAnna .... I was secretly not wanting to post something on my blog that was so sad but ....I just felt that I should ... in reality it just isn't all lollipops and sunshine, is it? XOXO Janie

hub of the house said...

love you mom!!!